It's not you, it's me

I've been closing quite a few doors the last year or two. Ones that very much needed closing which didn't make it very hard but then there are the others which are not that easy. For a long time now I have been a hypocrite. I have judged others for their actions whilst justifying my own with all kinds of reasoning. Making up stories is easier than it is to face the truth, right? We don't like hard do we, we want everything to be easy and if it's not then it's easier to give up. See, easy again. But why do we do that? Is it self preservation? Is it pride? Or is it something as simple as not wanting to be the bad guy? Because no one likes the bad guy, right? We need bad guys to feel better about ourselves and say things like "I would never do a thing like that..." or "I would never do that to someone that I care about...". Pause.

This morning I was thinking about how lucky we are living in a free tolerant society here in the UK. Yes it has its faults and societal issues, which place doesn't, but if the worst thing you have to worry about is the traffic in the mornings or how slow the service is at the local pub or how your local shop doesn't have your favorite yogurt anymore then I would say that's not bad bloody trade off for what other people are facing in the world. People just kin d of get on around here. Just because people voted to leave the EU doesn't it make them racists or delusionals or whatever rhetoric has been thrown around. Yes you have the idiots going around spewing hatred and xenophobia but, again, which place doesn't have it. It's up to us to rise above it and show that it's not OK, it's not acceptable and it never will be. In the words of Jim Jefferies... "Love will always beat hate. And if you show love to someone that hates you then that person mig

It is easy to overuse the expression "This has been the worst year ever" because let us face it, every year has the potential to be the worst year for a number of reasons. In my case however this is a fact... 2016 is officially the toughest year I have ever faced.  On the 3rd day of this year I had what I can only describe as a breakdown. I had been battling my alcohol addiction for many years and certain events on this day triggered a number of emotions and set me off on to a path which I was ill prepared for, to say the least. The booze coupled with stress. anxiety and just a general negative outlook on life did not do me any favours over the last 3 or 4 years. I have been living in England now for 10 years and one of the reasons I moved here was to get away from all the temptations. All the opportunities to consume copious amounts of alcohol and sometimes the same amounts of narcotics. Shock horror yes drugs. The problem is that when I arrived on these Anglian shores I e