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I just want something I can never have

If you asked me 5 years ago where I would be in 5 years time I would have said I have no idea. What I would have said, though, is that I will not be where I am today. We plan. We do. We Want. We get. We think. We know. We will. We won't.  I am looking at things differently now. Very differently.  I suppose it is between all the cliches and bullshit that you truly find yourself and a lot of times I wonder what that even means. Some go through life with rose tinted glasses. Others do it with morbid negativity. Sometimes you find yourself in the middle. All I know is, maybe I want something I can never have. Or maybe I only think that... Who knows. I don't.
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Unfamiliar Spaces.

Love isn't complicated. People are. Relationships are.  Love isn't hard work. People are. Relationships are. Love doesn't take time. Why should it? I'm turning 35 this year and when I was 16 that seemed like an eternity away which will give me all the time to learn life's mysteries. But all these years later I've barely scratched the surface.  But. A few years ago the journey changed direction . I ignored it. A few months ago the journey jumped on a roller coaster. I took notice. So now I'm just sitting writing another piece of me. And I am writing this piece for you. x
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I dedicate this to you...

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is a...
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