the real life

I know my life is going to look very different in 2017. I know that already, I don’t have to wait for it. There are choices and decisions that will be made, some even now as I’m typing this and over the next few days and weeks which are not mine to make. There are things beyond my control and I will have to accept them, and I have. All I know is I won’t be angry, I won’t be angry anymore. If 2016 taught me anything is that the change starts with myself and that whatever happened in that past has been and gone. There is nothing I can do about it, not a single a thing. All I can do is forgive myself and work on making things better for those that matter. I’m no angel, not by a long shot even, and I know there are some of you that have judged me and I’m OK with that, I won’t hold that against you because it’s only human.

What I won’t do is let my mistakes and flaws define me. I've made many mistakes, but I've learned it's not who I am. I don’t want to be that angry person anymore, that selfish person who hid behind his addictions and justified his own hypocritical actions. What I will do however is to make those close to me happy and try to find that happiness for myself. The sadness and hurt will come and go, the days and weeks will feel never ending, but like everything in life that too will end and then all that is left is tomorrow when the sun will shine again and we can wake up smiling because we choose to be happy. It’s a choice, every single day. And if you don’t believe me then prove me wrong.

So here’s what I want to leave with you…

Look after yourself and those that are important to you, but (and this is the important bit) there is nothing wrong with being selfish and making time for yourself, you need it too. Don’t go to bed angry, it helps nothing, you just wake up angry. If something is broken, then fix it. Take time to listen to your partner. Listen…

If you make a mistake say sorry, you’re human and that’s what we do. Even when it’s not your fault but you know deep down that saying sorry will help the other person to move on then do it. Let go of the anger. I’ll say it again… let go of the anger. If you see something that makes you angry then stop and decide how it is going to affect you, will you let it define you? I’ll say it again… being angry doesn’t help anything or anyone, you will go to bed angry and you will wake up angry, you will do and say things which are not true, so let it go. Let. It. Go. 

<3
But here’s the most important thing…

Just try to love more. Love yourself, love your partner, love your kids, love your family, love your friends, love your colleagues, even love strangers in the street or those driving past you.

To quote Jim Jefferies again… love is the only thing that beats hate. And if you love someone that hates you they may still hate you even after a long time, but eventually people will see them as the asshole. Don’t be the asshole.

Right, that’s me done for 2016. It was the toughest one yet, but I’m still here, I’m still fighting and I’m still trying.

Love all of you guys and gals! Be good, be safe and I'll see you on the flip side :) x

Anton <3